Montreal 2005 & Jazz Festival

The first week of July after spending a good chunk of June including my birthday with Mormons it was time to take the El Sach O tour up north to Oh Canada. In fact I didn't go to just any part of Canada but French Canada. Some people might be surprised that no they aren't planning to invade, Maple syrup is not every where just most every where, and the French Canadian ladies did not have facial hair or sound as annoying a Celine. Well actually this one lady, o never mind. The first of July is a great time to visit Montreal, its time of the International Festivale La Jazz. I was rocking out with 60,000 of my closest French Canadian friends listening to the insanely fun DJ Champion. Here the stage is being warmed up for the night time act. I know you are thinking that is a cousin of Jimmy Buffet or Richard Branson's slightly less famous cousin, you would be wrong, its just a dude who just smacked up a hobo and took this bitchin shirt. The other dude with no hair is the 1 in 10 who rogaine does not work for, sad but true. The third person in the picture is either Danny devito in disguise or woman well more specifically Rhea Pearlman were atkins went horribly wrong. This is a great thing to attend if you like music and just fun loving jimmy buffet wannabes.

Here is the act just prior to DJ Champion, where Montreal resembles the bedroom of a poor misguided college student who thinks xmas lights look year round. The Labatt Blue is flowing freely and pants become optional around hour 3. In fact you know its a good time because the lapped Blue Bear is there saying Excellent as he rubs both paws. The falafel's hurling about was an issue with no tahini sauce, this caused great outrage amongst one Canadian from Toronto causing him to burst into unimaginable rage and rightfully so, however he used the rage with misguided direction towards a tiny Indian man ,rajpal or something, who was accosted by the dudes wife for his umbrella. I being the guardian of honor and truth, defended this man with the only way how, by kicking him in nads and crawling into a fetal position. The Indian man of slight stature thanked me and promised the return of the EXpos, so I told him shut it.

Here I'm rolling about old Montreal through the rain and fog that is Canada. Pondering if this lady who is taking my picture is gonna run off with my camera then I realize she is already gone, but she was kind enough to return the roll by mail, but then I looked through the developed photo's and other then this sexy picture it was of French Canadian Clowns and there anin't anything sexy about a French Canadian Clown. This was essentially what happened north of the border when the Sachi World Tour hit, be ready for both a best of DVD and companion photo book one time special internet price of $29.95, send to the Sachico Foundation. Also if you are pasty and weighed using ford escorts, the favorable Canadian exchange rate will benefit you when looking for crack whores, as I was told by the outraged dude from Toronto $2 for his wife and a bottle of Jack. Look for other adventures soon.